The Washington Capitals are still six wins away from hoisting the Stanley Cup, but this postseason success is making us think that anything is possible.
The Capitals exorcised some demons and beat the Pittsburgh Penguins in a conference semifinal and are now the hottest team in hockey after two big wins over the Tampa Bay Lightning.
If this keeps up, perhaps miracles can happen all over the place.
In fact, if the Capitals win it all, let’s go on record as guaranteeing the following improbable events.
Metro Refunds Zero Dollars - We enjoy seeing the daily updates of Rush Hour Promise, in which it outlines how many free rides it had to give out to do rush hour delays of 15 minutes or more. Usually, hundreds of people end up getting free rides, and on time performance is just plain sad. (Last Thursday, for example, Metro said just 82 percent of trains were on time.) If the Capitals win it all, Metro will be so inspired that it will report no delayed trains or buses for the rest of 2018. We can dream.
Potomac Yard Will Have Four Entrances - Remember how Alexandria said it had to scrap plans for a south entrance to the new Potomac Yard station, due to cost concerns? Well, Capitals owner Ted Leonsis uses his extra playoff winnings to fund four new entrances to the station, all named after Capitals’ heroes. The new “Ovechkin Entrance” will feature eight high-speed escalators that never break down.
I-66 Express Lane Tolls Peak at 75 Cents - Everyone in Northern Virginia does what they are supposed to do and uses a carpool, or the bus, or slug lines, or Metro. Or they telecommute. No one hops in a car alone anymore. Traffic is so light that roads are replaced with a free high-speed rail system modeled after the nation of Wakanda in Black Panther.
Someone Puts a Dockless Bike Where it Belongs - The Washington region is stunned after reports that someone successfully picked up a dockless bike, rode it, and dropped it off in an appropriate location. Logan Circle resident Chet Littleton is given the Key to the City after choosing to thoughtfully place the green LimeBike upright on the edge of a sidewalk, away from pedestrians or parked cars. He also managed to lock the bike appropriately, thus making it available for future riders.
Tourist Successfully Purchases a SmarTrip Card - Shelly McNamara of Sandusky, Ohio becomes the first-ever tourist to purchase a fare for a Metro ride without confusion or delay. McNamara bought a SmarTrip card at the Greenbelt Metro station and loaded $10 using her credit card, not once seeking assistance from a station manager or staring blankly at the machine. She then promptly boarded the train and made her way to the Smithsonian without incident. “This is unprecedented,” station manager George Lindley said. “Normally I spend 15 minutes explaining things to these yokels.”