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A Hyperloop electric skate would carry 8-16 passengers.

A Hyperloop electric skate would carry 8-16 passengers.

The Boring Company
MetroTrainBikeCarMiscCommuter Crush

Commuter Crush: How Hyperloop Hype Mirrors First Date Hope

Kat is an author, founder of the DC dating blog Unemployed Kat and matchmaker with Three Day Rule.

Kat Haselkorn

Kat Haselkorn

For anyone who regularly travels the East Coast corridor by car, you know how congested it gets. For those of you who opt for the train, you know how expensive it gets. When word of Elon Musk’s Hyperloop first came to be, there were whispers that the DC-NY route might be an early adopter.

Musk’s version of the Hyperloop, as well as rival Virgin Hyperloop One, represents everything we want for the future of transportation: sustainable, digitized, fast, efficient. This innovative form of transit is the first step towards cutting carbon emissions and building a kinder transportation infrastructure. If it takes off, we will literally leave the world a better place for our children.

Crazy how a giant tunnel in the ground can get you so jazzed up you daydream about the world your future offspring could live in.

This hopeful anticipation mirrors the excitement of a first date.

I know it sounds crazy, but hear me out.

The DC-Baltimore route would be ultimately extended to New York City.

The DC-Baltimore route would be ultimately extended to New York City.

The Boring Company

Before a date, you might go into it knowing what the person looks like and maybe one or two of their most obvious interests. But you have no idea how the evening will go. There is so much unknown.

You might sit down to drinks and find yourself smitten by his smile, his kind eyes, his warm words. You might fantasize about having kids with him one day and imagine an exciting future for your relationship. There’s so much blind optimism that goes into a first date.

You hope the person isn’t a waste of your time. You hope the evening is enjoyable. You hope there’s a connection.

You cross your fingers for that elusive “click.”

But, just like plans for the Hyperloop, the date can utterly flop.

He might be self-absorbed, irritating, or utterly repulsive to you. He could inadvertently call you fat or make a racist comment or reveal an unhealthy obsession with Crossfit.

Like Musk’s grand plans, there’s simply no guarantee. You might walk away from a first date with an aching hole in your heart not dissimilar to the massive hole in the ground paved for transit tunnels of the future.

Commuter Crush is published every Friday, just in time for your unintentional weekend hookups (or while you’re recovering from your debaucherous Thursday night). If you have an interesting story to share, let us know via Facebook, Twitter or Instagram and tag us with #commutercrush.

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